Did you know that owning an iPhone makes you a better person? It’s true. The Department of Made-up Statistics and Lies (DMSL) recently published a study, which claims that male iPhone users who identify with the “gamer lifestyle” are happier, healthier, and have slightly larger penises than their non-iPhone-owning counterparts. Surprised? We are. Because even though we’ve been spending more time gaming on our iPhone, our penises never felt smaller.

Another more concerning problem: most of the Lite demos and free game apps we’ve come across are just too miserly with the amount of content they give you. There’s something about getting slapped in the face with an advertisement to upgrade after we’ve only played for a few minutes that makes us want to delete the app and forget that we ever downloaded it in the first place. Plus, we’re broke from buying an iPhone in the first place! That’s why we sorted through all the free apps we could find to bring you the real gems that are actually worth downloading.